I am Woman
Posted by: JesterI shave my legs, I sit down to pee
And I can justify any shopping spree.
Don’t go to a barber, but a beauty salon
Can get a massage without a hard-on
I can balance the checkbook,
can pump my own gas
Can talk to my friends
about the size of my ass.
My beauty’s a masterpiece,
and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit to others
when I’m wrong.
I don’t drive in circles at any cost,
And I don’t have a problem admitting I’m lost.
I never forget an important date
You just gotta deal with it, I’m usually late
I don’t watch movies with lots of gore
Don’t need instant replay to remember the score.
I won’t lose my hair,
I don’t get jock itch,
And just cause I’m assertive,
Don’t call me a bitch.
Don’t say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear.
I can do better!
Flowers are okay,
But jewelry’s best.
Would you look at my face,
Not at my chest!
I don’t have a problem
with expressing my feelings
I know when you’re lying,
You look at the ceiling.
Don’t call me a girl,
A babe or a chick.
I am a WOMAN,
Get it, you prick?!
