Jul
29
2009
Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
Posted by: Jester- At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
- Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “In.”
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write “For Smuggling Diamonds.”
- Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy.”
- Dontuseanypunctuationorspaces
- As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
- Specify that your drive-through order is “To Go.”
- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme?
- Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
- Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
- Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, “Rock Bottom.”
- When the money comes out the ATM, scream “I Won!, I Won!”
- When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!!”
- Tell your children over dinner. “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
- Insist that your e mail address be xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com.
- Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
- Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
- Reply to everything someone says with, “That’s what you think.”
- Adjust the contrast on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area.
- Ask people what sex they are.
- Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
- Send an email to the rest of the company to tell them where you’re going. For example: If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.
- Hum when you ride an elevator.
