Medical Diagnostics
Posted by: JesterOne day, in line at the company cafeteria, Bob says to his friend behind him, “My elbow has been killing me. I guess I’d better see a doctor.”
His friend replies, “Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money, There’s a diagnostic computer at the local clinic. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs $10 – a lot cheaper than a doctor.”
So, somewhat skeptical, Bob deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the machine.
He deposits his $10, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout. It says: “You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in 2 weeks.”
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bob began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
Bob hurries back to the clinic, eager to check the results. Once gain, he deposits $10 and pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
- Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
- Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
- Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
- Your wife is pregnant. With twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
- If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
