High School 1957 vs. 2009
Posted by: JesterThe world is a different place today. To illustrate this point, here are a few scenarios and how they would play out very differently when comparing 1957 to today.
Scenario 1:
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck’s gun rack.
1957 – The Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2009 – School goes into lock down, The FBI is called, Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counsellors are called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario 2:
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1957 – A Crowd gathers. Mark wins the fight. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2009 – Police called and SWAT team arrives — they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario 3:
Jeffrey will not be still in class and is disrupting other students.
1957 – Jeffrey is sent to the Principal’s office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2009 – Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability. Jeffrey later successfully sues the school board, principal, and teacher. The suit is settled out of court for an undisclosed sum that is in excess of 6 figures.
Scenario 4:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbour’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 – Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2009 – Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has an affair with the psychologist.
Scenario 5:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 – Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.
2009 – The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario 6:
Pedro fails high school English.
1957 – Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes on to college.
2009 – Pedro’s cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario 7:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July and puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.
1957 – Some Ants die.
2009 – The ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigate his parents — and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny’s dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario 8:
Wally falls while running during recess and breaks his ankle. He is found crying by his teacher, Nancy. Nancy comforts him while waiting for the paramedics.
1957 – Wally gets a cast on his foot and returns to school the next day.
2009 – Nancy is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in State Prison. Wally undergoes five years of required phychotherapy.
Tags: joke, school, strange but true
