Coming Home Late
Posted by: JesterThree guys are out drinking when they notice how late it is.
One of the guys says, “Ya know, no matter how careful I am, my wife always catches me coming home late.”
To give you an idea of how careful I am,” he continues. “I ease the car into the driveway, and let the garage door come down on my foot. Then I close the backdoor quietly, and get undressed downstairs. Then I tiptoe up the stairs and if I have to pee, I aim for the side of the bowl.”
“Then I enter the bedroom and the next thing I know, she’s turning on the light and chewing me out.”
The second guy says, “You think you’re careful. When I get near the house I turn off the headlights and engine and coast into the driveway. I leave the garage door open. I come into the house and leave the backdoor open.”
I get undressed downstairs, just like you,” he goes on. “and then tiptoe up the stairs close to the wall so there’s no squeak. If I have to pee, I sit down on the pot, and I don’t flush.”
He finishes, “Then I go into the bedroom, and my wife starts chewing me out until the sun comes up.”
The third guy is laughing his head off.
The other two ask him what’s so funny and he says, “I don’t have any problem. When I get near the house, I turn on the bright lights, crank up the radio to max volume, take the driveway on two wheels, screech to a stop, race the engine and make it backfire.”
“Then I slam the car door, slam the garage door, come into the house and slam the door. I get undressed downstairs, and then stomp up the stairs. If I have to pee, I aim for the middle of the bowl and do it as loud as I can.”
“Then I go into the bedroom and say ‘Hi honey, I’m home. How ’bout a little?’ And you know what? She hasn’t woken up yet.”
Tags: joke, men and women
