Feb
5
2010

Phrases to Use With Terrorists

Posted by: Jester

These are handy sentences to know when traveling in Muslim countries:

“AKBAR KHALI-KILI HAFTIR LOFTAN.”
Thank you for showing me your marvelous gun.

“FEKR GABUL GARDAN DAVAT PAEH GUSH DIVAR.”
I am delighted to accept your kind invitation to lie down on the floor with my arms above my head and my legs apart.

“SHOMAEH FEKR TAMOMEH OEH GOFTEH BANDE.”
I agree with everything you have ever said or thought in your life.

“AUTO ARRAREGH DAVATEMAN MANO SEPAHEH-HAST.”
It is exceptionally kind of you to allow me to travel in the trunk of your car.

“FASHAL-EH TUPEHMAN NA DEGAT MANO GOFTAM CHEESHAYEH MOHEMARA JEBEHKESHVAREHMAN.”
If you will do me the kindness of not harming my genital appendages, I will gladly reciprocate by betraying my country in public.

“KHREL, JEPAHEH MANEH VA JAYEII AMRIKAHEY.”
I will tell you the names and addresses of many American spies traveling as reporters.

“BALLI, BALLI, BALLI!”
Whatever you say!

“MATERNIER GHERMEZ AHLIEH, GHORBAN.”
The red blindfold would be lovely, excellency.

“TIKEH NUNEH BA OB KHRELLEH BEZORG VA KHRUBE BOYAST INO BEGERAM.”
The water-soaked bread crumbs are delicious, thank you. I must have the recipe.

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