Feb
5
2010
Top 20 Reasons Dogs Don’t Use Computers
Posted by: JesterThe Top 20 Reasons Dogs Don’t Use Computers
- Can’t stick their heads out of Windows 95.
- Fetch command not available on all platforms.
- Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
- Too difficult to “mark” every web site they visit.
- Can’t help attacking the screen when they hear “You’ve Got Mail.”
- Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
- Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they’re browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working.
- Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
- Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
- Still trying to come up with an emoticon that signifies tail-wagging.
- Oh, but they WILL… with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.
- Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome.
- ‘Cause dogs ain’t GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand…
- Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
- SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
- SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question.
- Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver.
- Annoyed by lack of news groups, alt.pictures.master’s.leg.
- Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.
and the Number 1 Reason Dogs Don’t Use Computers…
- TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,. *
( * 1. Too Damn Hard To Type With Paws. )
