Apr
12
2010
Marketer’s Computer Terms
Posted by: JesterDefining Computer Terms From a “Marketing” Point of View:
- All New — The software is not compatible with previous versions.
- Advanced Design — Upper management doesn’t understand it.
- Breakthrough — It nearly booted on the first try.
- New — It comes in different colors from the previous version.
- Design Simplicity — It was developed on a shoe-string budget.
- Exclusive — We’re the only ones who have the documentation.
- Field Tested — Manufacturing doesn’t have a test system.
- Foolproof Operation — All parameters are hard coded.
- Futuristic — It only runs on the next-generation supercomputer.
- High Accuracy — All the directories compare.
- It’s Here At Last — We’ve released a 26-week project in 48 weeks.
- Maintenance Free — It’s impossible to fix.
- Meets Quality Standards — It compiles without errors.
- Performer Proven — It works through beta test.
- Revolutionary — The disk drives go round and round.
- Satisfaction Guaranteed — We’ll send you another copy if it fails.
- Stock Item — We shipped it once before, and we can do it again, probably.
- Unmatched — It’s almost as good as the competition.
- Unprecedented Performance — Nothing ever ran this slow before.
- Years of Development — We finally got one to work.
