Understanding Men
Posted by: JesterHere are some helpful translations of common “guy sayings” for those who may be a bit confused:
“It’s a guy thing.”
Means: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”
“Can I help with dinner?”
Means: “Why isn’t it already on the table?”
“Uh huh,” “Sure, Honey,” or “Yes, Dear”
Means: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.
“It would take too long to explain.”
Means: “I have no idea how it works.”
“I was listening to you. It’s just that I have a lot of things on my mind.”
Means: “That girl standing on the corner is a real babe.”
“Take a break, Honey. You’re working too hard.”
Means: “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”
“That’s interesting, dear.”
Means: “Are you still talking?”
“You know how bad my memory is.”
Means: “I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop’, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot our anniversary.”
“I was just thinking about you, so I got these roses.”
Means: “The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.”
“Oh, don’t fuss – I just cut myself. It’s no big deal.”
Means: “I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I’m hurt.”
“I can’t find it.”
Means: “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”
“What did I do this time?”
Means: “What did you catch me at?”
“I heard you.”
Means: “I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next three days yelling at me.”
“You know I could never love anyone else.”
Means: “I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.”
“You look terrific.”
Means: “Oh, please don’t try on one more outfit, I’m starving.”
“I’m not lost. I know exactly where we are.”
Means: “No one will ever see us alive again.”
