You know it’s going to be a bad day when:

• You wake up face down on the pavement.
• You call the Suicide Prevention Hot-line and they put you on hold.
• You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
• Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
• Your son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business.
• You want to put on the clothes you wore home from last night’s party – and there aren’t any.
• You turn on the news and they’re showing emergency routes out of the city.
• Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
• You wake up to discover that your water bed broke and then realize that you don’t have a water bed.
• Your horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell’s Angels on the freeway.
• You see the “60 Minutes” News Team waiting in your Office.
• Your boss tells you not to bother to take off you coat.
• You walk to work and discover that your dress is tucked in the back of your pantyhose.
• Your kid says “Did you know that it’s almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet?”
• You’re driving to work smoking a cigarette. At a stop light, you drop it between your legs. As you frantically search for it, a full city bus pulls up alongside of your car.
• You wake up too late to catch the van pool – then you realize that you’re driving the van this week.

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Tags: joke, kids, women, work

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