Archive for the ‘racial’ Category


Feb
19
2010

Airline Pilots

Posted by: Jester

An airplane takes off from the airport.

The captain is Jewish and the first officer is Chinese. It’s the first time they’ve flown together and it’s obvious by the silence that they’re not comfortable with each other.

After thirty minutes of silence, the Jewish Captain speaks, “I don’t like Chinese.”

The First Officer replies, “Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why ees that?”

The Captain says, “You bombed Pearl Harbor. That’s why I don’t like Chinese.”

The First Officer says, “Nooooo, noooo……. Chinese not bomb Pearl Harbah. That Japanese, not Chinese.”

And the Captain answers, “Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese… It doesn’t matter, they’re all alike.”

Another thirty minutes of silence. Finally the First Officer says, “No like Jew.”

The Captain replies, “Why not? Why don’t you like Jews?”

The First Officer says, “Jews sink Titanic.”

The Captain tries to correct him, “No, no. The Jews didn’t sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg.”

The First Officer replies, “Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, no mattah. All same.”

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Jul
19
2009

Learn Chinese in Five minutes

Posted by: Jester

English: He’s cleaning his automobile
Chinese: Wa Shing Ka

English: This is a tow away zone
Chinese: No Pah King

English: Is there a fugitive here?
Chinese: Hu Yu Hai Dung

English: Small Horse
Chinese: Tai Ni Po Ni

English: Your price is too high!!!
Chinese: No Bai Nut Ding!!!

English: Did you go to the beach?
Chinese: Wai Yu So Tan?

English: I bumped into a coffee table
Chinese: Ai Bang Mai Ni

English: It’s very dark in here
Chinese: Wai So Dim?

English: Has your flight been delayed?
Chinese: Hao Long Wei Ting?

English: I thought you were on a diet?
Chinese: Wai Yu Mun Ching?

English: They have arrived
Chinese: Hai Dei Kum

English: Your body odor is offensive
Chinese: Yu Stin Ki Pu

English: You know lyricks to the Macarena?
Chinese: Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?

English: I got this for free
Chinese: Ai No Pei

English: Stay out of sight
Chinese: Lei Lo

English: Phew! Does this bathroom stink!
Chinese: Hu Flung Dung?

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“When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice.”
  — Steven Wright
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