Bob, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.

The 10 pm news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Bob and said, “Do you think he’ll jump?”

Bob said, “You know, I bet he’ll jump..”

The blonde replied, “Well, I bet he won’t.”

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, “You’re on!”

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying, “Fair’s fair. Here’s your money.”

Bob replied, “I can’t take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 pm news, so I knew he would jump.”

The blonde replied, “I did too, but didn’t think he’d do it again.”

A blonde woman goes to a psychiatrist to try to work out her relationship problems, complaining of a long string of bad boyfriends.

After a few sessions, the psychiatrist determines the problem.

“You are suffering form what is technically known as an ‘Electra Complex,’” the psychiatrist informs her. “In other words, you are in love with your father.”

The woman breaks down into hysterical sobbing.

“Now, now,” comforts the shrink. “It’s not all that bad.”

“Yes..(snif)…yes, it is,” the blonde gets out between sobs. “I have no chance at all…he’s a married man!”

A blonde who had been unemployed for several months got a job with the County Public Works. She was to paint lines down the center of a rural road.

The supervisor told her that she was on probation and that she must stay at or above the set average of two miles per day to remain employed.

The blonde agreed to the conditions and started her new job right away. The supervisor checking up at the end of the day, found that the blonde had completed four miles on her first day, double the average! “Great,” he told her, “I think you’re really going to work out.”

The next day, however, he was disappointed to find that the blonde only accomplished two miles. The supervisor thought, “Well she’s still at the average and I don’t want to discourage her, so I’ll just keep quiet.”

On the third day, the blonde only did one mile and the boss thought, “I need to talk to her before this gets any worse.”

The boss pulled the new employee aside and says, “You were doing so great. The first day you did four miles, the second day two miles, but yesterday you only did one mile. Why? Is there a problem? An injury, equipment failure? What’s keeping you from meeting the two mile minimum?”

The blonde replied, “Well, each day I keep getting farther and farther away from the bucket.”

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”

The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?”

The man agreed and told her that the paint, ladders and other equipment she might need were in the garage.

The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”

The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

“You’re finished already?” he asked.

“Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.”

Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.

“And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.

She proudly says, “Go ahead, ask me. I know all of them.”

A friend says, “okay, what’s the capital of Wisconsin?”

The blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy. ‘W.’”

A young and pretty blonde woman stood at the bank cashier’s window and smiled. “I’d like to cash this check, please,” she said, handing it over.

The teller examined the check, then said: “Could you identify yourself, Miss?”

For a moment the lovely girl’s brow creased over, then with a bright look she fumbled in her handbag and producing a mirror, glanced in it and with relief said, “Yes! It’s me, all right!”

The clerk said, “No Ma’am, you misunderstood me. We require a photo identification.”

The girl searched her bag again and found a picture with a group of young children and an adult. “This is my third grade class photo,” she explained. “I can identify myself here — that’s me, third from the left in the bottom row.”

A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom.

She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note.

“I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7am.” Signed, “The Blonde.”

She pinned the note inside the little boy’s jacket and told him to go straight home.

The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed.

Inside the bag was the following note: “Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another.”