An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip.

Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her.

She answered the phone, crying, and said, “I can’t get out of the room!”

“You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked. “Why not?”

She replied, “There are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a coffee.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:”

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

“Now,” she concludes, “think about it seriously, Mister….Do you still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “No… Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

A blonde is walking along, lost, and encounters a deep and wide river.

She looks up and down the river for a way across but is unsuccessful in finding one.

Once again, she looks to the other side and she happens to see another blonde on the opposite river bank. She tried calling to her.

“How can I get to the other side of the river?” she shouts loudly.

The other blonde replied “What for? You are already on the other side of the river!”

A Blonde social worker from a big city recently transferred to the Mountains of North Carolina and Georgia.

She was on the first tour of her new territory when she came upon the smallest cabin she had ever seen.

Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door. “Anybody home?” she asked.

“Yep,” came a kid’s voice through the door.

“Is your father there?” asked the social worker.

“Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in,” said the kid.

“Well, is your mother there?” persisted the social worker.

“Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here,” said the kid.

“But,” protested the social worker, “are you never together as a family?”

“Sure, but not here,” said the kid through the door, “this is our outhouse!”

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage.

A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.

We all looked at each other in confusion and then another customer asked, “What is a seven-hundred-ten?”

She replied, “You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I have lost it and need a new one.” She went on to say that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.

The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.

She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.

He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked, “Is there a 710 on this car?”

She pointed and said, “Of course, it’s right there.”

710

A surgeon went to check on his blond patient after an operation.

She was awake, so he examined her. Satisfied with what he saw he stated, “You’ll be fine.”

She asked, “How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?”

The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl.

“What’s the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won’t I? That’s what you said…”

He replied, “Yes, you’ll be fine. It’s just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out.”