A blonde, brunette and redhead are in a desert.
The brunette says, “I brought some water so we don’t get dehydrated.”
The redhead says, “I brought some suntan lotion so we don’t get sunburned.”
Then the blonde says I brought a car door.”
The other girls ask, “Why did you bring that?”
The blonde replies, “So I can roll down the window if it gets hot.”
A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.
“I liked it, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,” she said.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Well, everyone kept yelling, ‘Get the quarter back!’”
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, “Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The man says back to the blind man, “Look buddy, I’m blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting over to your left is blonde and the bartender is blonde, too. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?”
The blind man thinks for a moment and then says, “Nah, I wouldn’t want to have to explain it five times.”
One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man looking around in front of her house.
“You’re a goblin,” she says so the man. “I caught you and you owe me three wishes!”.
The goblin replies “OK, you caught me fair and square, what’s your first wish?”.
The woman stops and thinks for a second, “I want a huge mansion to live in.”.
The goblin replies “OK, you’ve got it.”
The woman weighs her options and says “My second wish is a Mercedes.”
“OK, you’ve got that too.” said the goblin.
“My last wish to have ten million dollars!”.
The goblin then says “OK, you’ve got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex with me all night.”
The woman thinks about it but decides she really wants her wishes to come true, so she says “OK then, if that’s what it takes…”
The next morning the little man wakes the woman up.
“Tell me,” says the man, “how old are you?”
“I’m 27″, she replies.
“Wow”, says the man, “27 and you still believe in goblins??”
A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches a ‘blonde lady’ driver.
“Ma’am, is there a reason that you’re weaving all over the road?” the officer asks.
The woman nervously replied, “Oh officer, thank goodness you’re here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!”
Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer pointed and said, “Ma’am…that’s your air freshener.”
Funny video about what happens when a blonde goes to the library.
On a plane bound for New York a flight attendant approached a blond woman sitting in the first class section and asked her to move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blond replied, “I’m blond, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York, and I’m not moving.”
Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blond replied, “I’m blond, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York, and I’m not moving.”
The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, “I’m married to a blond, and I know how to handle this.” He went to the first class section and whispered in the blond’s ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the coach section mumbling to herself, “Why didn’t anyone just say so?”
Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat. He said, “I told her the first class section wasn’t going to New York.”
