A student comes to a young professor’s office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
“I would do anything to pass this exam.” She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. “I mean…” she whispers, “…I would do…anything.”
He returns her gaze. “Anything?”
“Anything.” she states.
His voice softens. “Anything??”
“Absolutely anything.”
His voice turns to a whisper. “Would you…study?”
An old math professor poses the following problem to one of his classes:
A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars to his heirs.
- One-fifth is to go to his son.
- One-fifth is to go to his daughter.
- One-sixth to his brother.
- and the rest to his wife.
Now, what does each person get?
After a very long silence in the classroom, someone in back raises his hand and says, “A lawyer?”
Don’t look at anything in a physics lab.
Don’t taste anything in a chemistry lab.
Don’t smell anything in a biology lab.
Don’t touch anything in a medical lab.
and, most importantly:
Don’t listen to anything in a philosophy department.
If you enter a college laboratory and see an experiment, how do you know which class it is?
If it’s green and wiggles, it’s biology.
If it stinks, it’s chemistry.
If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.
