A wealthy old man by the name of Chet Bond was dying of a rare disease.

On his hospital bed he asked his wife to bring his priest, insurance rep and physician the next day.

He told them, “I have trusted all of you for many years and I’m going to give each of you $90,000 in an box to put in my casket so I can always have it with me.”

Mr. Bond soon passed away and at his wake the three men each placed their boxes in his casket.

While leaving the funeral the three were riding in a limo and the doctor confessed “I only left $60,000 in my box. I used the money to buy a new invention that will help me diagnose his rare disease and treat others. He would have wanted me to do it.”

The priest then sighed and said: “I only left $30,000 in my box. We needed that money to help more homeless, and Mr. Bond would have wanted me to do it.”

Angrily, the insurance agent then scolded the other two: “You two should be ashamed of yourselves for stealing from a dead guy. I cut Mr. Bond a check for the full $90,000!”

Property Insurance

Jeff’s farm was destroyed by a tornado. His wife Amy called their insurance agent and said, “The farm was insured for $200,000 and we want the money.”

“I’m sorry Amy, but it doesn’t work that way. We will determine the value of your farm and get you a new one that is worth about the same.” the agent said.

Amy paused and replied, “Well, in that case, I’d like to cancel the policy on my husband.”

Four Months to Live

A widow went to the hospital because she was very sick. After some testing a doctor told her, “There is no easy way to say this. You will only live another four months.”

The woman lowered her head and didn’t speak for a moment. She then asked “what am I going do?”

The doctor said, “Marry an insurance salesman.”

“Will that help me live longer?” she asked.

“No, but it will seem longer.”

Insurance Salesman

An insurance salesman, accountant and a secretary are traveling in through a rural area. Tired, they drive up to a small country inn.

The owner tells them he only has a room with two beds so somebody will have to sleep in the barn for the night.

The secretary loses a game of rock paper scissors and heads out to the barn while the others go to sleep.

In less than an hour they are woken up by a knock. It’s the secretary, who complains, “There is a pig in the barn. I’m Jewish, and cannot sleep near an unclean beast.”

The accountant gets frustrated and heads out to the barn.

The other two go to bed but soon are woken up by another knock.

It’s the accountant who says, “There is a cow in that barn. I’m a Hindu, and it would offend my beliefs to sleep next to a sacred beast.”

The insurance salesman just wants to get some sleep he walks over to the barn in a huff.

Some time goes by and the accountant and secretary fall fast asleep but they are woken up by a much louder pounding.

They open the door and are surprised by what they see: The pig and the cow.