A handful of 7 year old children were asked, what they thought of beer. Some interesting responses, but the last one is especially touching.

Tim: “I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mom gets.”

Melanie: “Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want On television when he is asleep, so beer is nice.”

Grady: “My Mom and Dad both like beer. My Mom gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn’t think this is very funny.”

Toby: “My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing.”

Sarah: “My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn’t have too much.”

Lilly: “My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool.”

Ethan: “I don’t like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting.”

Shirley: “I give Dad’s beer to the dog and he goes to sleep.”

Jack: “My Mom drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn’t make any sense.”

A mother was complaining about having to go to the athletic supply store to buy an athletic cup for her young son, who was seven years old and just starting the soccer league.

The man behing the counter asked her “What size is he?”

The mother shrugged and held up her thumb and index finger about an inch apart and said, “He’s about this big.”

The man behind the counter shook his head and said, “No, ma’am. What is his waist size?”

This is why we love kids: they see the world differently. And in may cases, it’s funny.

A Kindergarten pupil told his teacher that he had found a cat, but it was dead. “How do you know the cat was dead?” she asked him. “Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,” answered the child innocently. “You did what??” the teacher exclaimed in surprise. “You know,” the boy tried to explain, “I leaned over and went ‘Pssst!’ in its ear and it didn’t move.”

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, “Sweetheart, you’re going to get hair on your Twinkie.” She says, “Yes, I know, and I’m gonna get boobs too.”

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, “How do you expect to get into Heaven?” The boy thought it over and said, “Well, I’ll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until Saint Peter says, ‘For Heaven’s sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!’”

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?” The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t dear,” she said, “I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.” A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: “The big sissy.”

It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children’s sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, “That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?” The little girl replied directly into the pastor’s microphone, “Yes, and my Mom says it’s a bitch to iron.”

A woman was six months pregnant with my third child. One as she was preparing to get into the shower, her three year old came into the room. She said, “Mommy, you are getting fat!” I replied, “Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy.” “I know,” she replied, “but what’s growing in your butt?”

One day a first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part where Chicken Little warns the farmer. She read, “…and Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, ‘The sky is falling!’” The teacher then asked the class, “And what do you think that farmer said?” One little girl raised her hand and said, “I think he said: ‘Holy shit! A talking chicken!’”