Posts Tagged ‘racial’


Apr
29
2010

Short But Funny Jokes

Posted by: Jester

Almost every one of these is going to be offensive to someone. But that’s what makes them funny!

Q. What’s the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A. A different bar.

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong.

Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment.

Q. Why aren’t there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A. Because they’re not going to work in the future either.

Q. What do you call a Mississippi farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A. A pimp.

Q. Why do Driver’s Education classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Education class uses it.

Q. What’s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

Q. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the ‘F’ word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell “BINGO!”

Q. What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A. A northern fairytale begins, “Once upon a time…” and a southern fairytale begins, “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this shit.”

Q. Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States.

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Feb
19
2010

Airline Pilots

Posted by: Jester

An airplane takes off from the airport.

The captain is Jewish and the first officer is Chinese. It’s the first time they’ve flown together and it’s obvious by the silence that they’re not comfortable with each other.

After thirty minutes of silence, the Jewish Captain speaks, “I don’t like Chinese.”

The First Officer replies, “Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why ees that?”

The Captain says, “You bombed Pearl Harbor. That’s why I don’t like Chinese.”

The First Officer says, “Nooooo, noooo……. Chinese not bomb Pearl Harbah. That Japanese, not Chinese.”

And the Captain answers, “Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese… It doesn’t matter, they’re all alike.”

Another thirty minutes of silence. Finally the First Officer says, “No like Jew.”

The Captain replies, “Why not? Why don’t you like Jews?”

The First Officer says, “Jews sink Titanic.”

The Captain tries to correct him, “No, no. The Jews didn’t sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg.”

The First Officer replies, “Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, no mattah. All same.”

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Jul
31
2009

Muslims in France

Posted by: Jester

This video is a spoof news report on the habits of Muslims living in France. The narration is in French, but the meaning is quite clear…not to mention funny.

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Jul
19
2009

Learn Chinese in Five minutes

Posted by: Jester

English: He’s cleaning his automobile
Chinese: Wa Shing Ka

English: This is a tow away zone
Chinese: No Pah King

English: Is there a fugitive here?
Chinese: Hu Yu Hai Dung

English: Small Horse
Chinese: Tai Ni Po Ni

English: Your price is too high!!!
Chinese: No Bai Nut Ding!!!

English: Did you go to the beach?
Chinese: Wai Yu So Tan?

English: I bumped into a coffee table
Chinese: Ai Bang Mai Ni

English: It’s very dark in here
Chinese: Wai So Dim?

English: Has your flight been delayed?
Chinese: Hao Long Wei Ting?

English: I thought you were on a diet?
Chinese: Wai Yu Mun Ching?

English: They have arrived
Chinese: Hai Dei Kum

English: Your body odor is offensive
Chinese: Yu Stin Ki Pu

English: You know lyricks to the Macarena?
Chinese: Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?

English: I got this for free
Chinese: Ai No Pei

English: Stay out of sight
Chinese: Lei Lo

English: Phew! Does this bathroom stink!
Chinese: Hu Flung Dung?

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“A favorite euphemism: Junkies = the user population.”
  — George Carlin
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