A woman asks her husband, “Would you like some bacon and eggs? A slice of toast and maybe some grapefruit and coffee for breakfast?”

He declines. “Thanks for offering, but I’m not hungry right now. It’s this Viagra,” he says. “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”

At lunchtime she asked if he would like something. “A bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?”

He declines. “The Viagra,” he says, “really trashes my desire for food.”

Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat.

“Would you like a juicy rib-eye steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?”

He declines again. “No,” he says, “it’s got to be the Viagra… I’m still not hungry.”

“Well,” she says, “Would you mind letting me up? I’m starving!”

It was with much dismay that Rachael discovered her husband Harold had a mistress.

Rachael, however, was not the sort to kill the golden goose, rather she decided to find out what the mistress had that she didn’t.

After a long interrogation Harold finally relented.

“Well, to tell you the truth, Rachael, you are too cold. When we make love you don’t do anything. You just lay there, whereas she moans and groans with feeling.”

“Is that all?” thought Rachael. “Is that all there is to it?”

That night she dressed in her most alluring lingerie, slipped Harold a shot of his favorite cognac and got him into bed.

Half way through the business she decided to give him her most passionate moans and groans.

“Oh Harold, darling,” she began, “I’ve had the most terrible day. Our shares dropped two points, the maid quit and you don’t give me enough housekeeping money…”

“And will there be anything else, sir?” the bellboy asked after setting out an elaborate dinner for two.

“No, thank you.” the gentleman replied. “That will be all.”

As the young man turned to leave, he noticed a beautiful satin negligee on the bed.

“Anything for your wife?” he asked.

“Yeah! That’s a good idea.” the fellow said. “Please send up a postcard.”

A middle-aged couple, Joanne and Bob, moved to Texas. Bob had always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife “Notice anything different about me?”

Joanne looked him over. “Nope” was all she said, and went back to what she was doing.

Frustrated, Bob stormed off to the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for his new boots.

Again he asked Joanne, a little louder this time, “Notice anything different now?”

Joanne looked up and exclaimed, “Bob, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow!”

Furious, Bob said, “And do you know why it’s hanging down, Joanne?”

“Nope”, she replied.

“It’s hanging down, because it’s looking at my new Cowboy Boots!”

Without changing her expression, Joanne replied, “You shoulda bought a hat, Bob. You shoulda bought a hat…”

A blonde woman goes to a psychiatrist to try to work out her relationship problems, complaining of a long string of bad boyfriends.

After a few sessions, the psychiatrist determines the problem.

“You are suffering form what is technically known as an ‘Electra Complex,’” the psychiatrist informs her. “In other words, you are in love with your father.”

The woman breaks down into hysterical sobbing.

“Now, now,” comforts the shrink. “It’s not all that bad.”

“Yes..(snif)…yes, it is,” the blonde gets out between sobs. “I have no chance at all…he’s a married man!”

Two friends were hanging out in a Western bar.

One decided to try the Bucking Bronco machine. He managed to hang on for ten minutes.

His buddy was impressed. “Wow!” he exclaimed, “That was sure something!”

“It was easy,” his friend said modestly. “I get lots of practice… My wife’s an epileptic.”

A man came home empty handed on his anniversary. His wife was furious with him for once again forgetting their special day.

Frustrated and angry with himself, he tried to come up with a solution.

He set up an account with a local florist and gave them instructions to send flowers on his wife’s birthday, their anniversay, Mothers day and all the other important dates. Each of these deliveries was to have an appropriate note, signed “Your loving husband.”

He was pretty satisfied with himself for coming up with this solution. And his wife was thrilled by his new display of attention.

Everything was going well until one day, some bouquets later, when he came home, kissed his wife and said off-handedly, “Nice flowers, honey. Where’d you get them?”