“And will there be anything else, sir?” the bellboy asked after setting out an elaborate dinner for two.

“No, thank you.” the gentleman replied. “That will be all.”

As the young man turned to leave, he noticed a beautiful satin negligee on the bed.

“Anything for your wife?” he asked.

“Yeah! That’s a good idea.” the fellow said. “Please send up a postcard.”

A woman goes on vacation alone to the Caribbean, wishing her husband had been able to join her.

Upon arriving, she meets a very attractive, tall dark and handsome native, and after a night of passionate lovemaking she asks him, “What is your name?”

“I can’t tell you!” the native says.

Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he always responds the same, he will not tell her.

On her last night there she asks again, “Can you please tell me your name?”

“I can’t because you will make fun of my name!” the Islander says.

“There is no reason for me to laugh at you,” the lady says.

“Fine. My name is Snow” the man replies.

Upon hearing this, the woman bursts into laughter. The native gets mad and says, “I knew you would make fun of it.”

The lady replied, “No, it’s not what you think. It’s just my husband that won’t believe me when I tell him that I had ten inches of Snow every day while I was in the Caribbean.”

After a tourist had been served in the Las Vegas cocktail lounge, he beckoned the waitress back and said, “Miss, would y’all give me a piece of ass?”

She looked him over, smiled and said, “Sure, why not? It’s pretty slow here right now, so let’s go!”

When the pair returned half an hour later, the man sat down at the same table and the waitress asked, “Will there be anything else?”

“Yes,” replied the tourist. “Where ah come from in Arkansas, we lack our bourbon ‘n watuh cold, so ah still need a piece uh ass for mah drink.”

Teeing off on the 12th hole at a golf resort, we stopped to buy cold drinks from the young woman driving the beverage cart.

As my buddy reached for his wallet, he said to her, “You’re in great shape. You must work out a lot.”

Flattered, she gave him a big smile. “Thank you.”

The next day a different young woman was driving the cart.

“Watch this,” I whispered. I walked up to her and said, “Wow, you must work out a lot.”

“Yeah,” she replied dryly. “You should try it.”

An out-of-town visitor becomes friendly with Thelma, the waitress in his hotel coffee shop. After some innocent conversation he invites her up to his room.

Thelma is indignant and refuses.

The guy says, “Don’t get upset, this is all in the Bible.”

Thelma is somewhat appeased, but still refused the invitation. Instead, she agrees to see him for a few drinks. Again the man invites her up to his room, and again she is angry.

The man explains, “It’s in the Bible.”

An hour later they’re in the guy’s hotel room and he suggests they undress and have some fun. He assures Thelma that it isn’t sinful since it’s in the Bible.

“Where?” she says, not believing him. “Where does it say that?”

Taking the Bible from the hotel nightstand, he opens it to the front cover where someone has written, “Thelma the waitress is a great lay.”

A man and his Wife went to Holy Land for a vacation.

During the trip, the wife died. The coroner offered to have her buried in the Holy Land for $150 or he could have her remains shipped to home for $5,000.

After some thinking on it, the man said no.

The coroner said “Yes sir, I understand. I’m sure you’d like her remains to be near you so you can visit her grave site.”

The man said “No, that’s not it. A guy was buried here and he rose from dead in three days. I can’t take that chance… Send her back home.”

Walter arrived at his office late one morning and was greeted with giggles from the pretty young receptionist.

“What are you laughing at?” asked Walter.

“There’s a big black smudge on your face,” said the girl.

“Oh, that!” said Walter. “I can explain… I saw my wife off on a two-week vacation this morning; I took her to the station and kissed her good-bye.”

“But what about the black smudge?”

“As soon as she got on board, I ran up and kissed the engine.”